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Friday, February 18, 2011.
I guess i cant hang on any longer. life juz sucks for me. Being force to be wit char, mother beat me. What else will happen next? i really hav no idea. I'm veri tired but can't sleep. Last half a month salary can't even survive 3 meals per day FML! No choice but to skip meals thn. Haven even finish clearing my hospital bills FK IT LA! i guess aft clearing the bills, i'm not gonna spent my money on those stupid checkup and medi. I juz feel like dying now :(

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Friday, February 11, 2011.
bac to work 2dae. nth really special. makin myself so tired, so cui. tinking tat coming home i can juz lie on the bed and sleep but i cant. hav no idea wad im actually tinking. my heart damn pain now. dun feel like takin medi or anything. Juz feel like leaving it like tis. is better tat i die rite? nobody will suffer wit me, nobody will get hurt, nobody will be stress coz of me am i rite? mother force me to be wit tat thai girl. Wad can i say? even if i dun wan she juz insist. im tired really tired :'(

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Sunday, January 30, 2011.
I juz feel like sleeping and not wakin up. Y does my mother wan me be wit her whn i dun even hav any feeling for her? :'( Quarreled wit mother last night and she slap me on the face juz coz i dun wan be wit her fwen's daughter. No matter wad even if she beat me to death i oso wont be wit her. I onli love baby. i miss her so much:( she told me to call her yesterday which i didnt. Giving reason tat im busy but actually crying. i dun wan her to worried. i told her tat i wan to settle my mother first be4 telling her is coz i scared she will leave me. Im really scared:'( my heart is veri pain now. i really dun noe wad to do or mayb i shld go. i guess i hav to cry myself to sleep tonight:'(

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Wednesday, January 26, 2011.
I'm out of hospital!!!! :D erm.... actually not i wan blog de, is baby wan me blog...... :) Hospital food juz sucks for goodness sake. Haven die inside can liao ba. Everyday sleep so early machiam like my brain got prob. needles poking on my hand and use tube to breathe. Doc came thn poke needle on my bac. i will let them poke until die sia. The needle keep hit until my spine damn pain like fk. No standard de doc. i rather die then let them poke here poke there. Now come out le. Can run around le. More better, can smoke and drink le :D jkjk uh..... trying to quit smoking but i dun tink i can..... drink is sometimes drink nia. Will try to control uh. I WANT TO MEET BABY FAST FAST!!!♥ oh ya, juz now noe a girl in fb. She's the same as me mother thai, father singapore. Whn my mother noe she ask me thingy bout tat girl. She tinks tat tat girl was her fwen's daughter o.o Nice to noe tat girl but i muz be cautious. She told me she's interested in tomboy-.- She even told me tat aft knowing each other thn will interested in each other. Nahh.... i dun take tat shyt. I noe myself veri well. I onli love baby the onli one. So wad she's more slim than baby. Love is whn u love the person he/she is. I dun regret being with her. The best thing is tat the time tat we spent together. As long as our love is strong, nth can break us apart. I LOVE YOU, ALICE NG! I PROMISE YOU I WONT LEAVE YOU. I WILL BE WITH YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE! ♥♥♥

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Thursday, January 20, 2011.
using my cousin's lappy to blog in the hospital now. I regret, i really regret everything tat i've done. Juz to forget bout the past i keep gaming all day and neglected her. Y am i like tis? I wan to be the real me. Once i get out of the hospital, i want to get bac to her. I wan to spent the remaining times wit her and forget bout the past. Now i dun even noe i can get out or not. I noe i've done wrong. If i really wont be able to spend the remaining times wit her, i really will regret my whole life. Baby im sry:'( i didnt meant to hurt u. I'm really sry. I juz wish tat we can still be 2gether and let me love u wholeheartedly. I noe u gave me alot of chance. I juz wan to beg for 1 last one :'(

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010.
Juz blog since i got nth to do. Nth to really say. Juz feel tat every part of my life changes. Stuck at home rotting. Juz feel like crying. She's busy with her work, busy with studies, busy with boss and busy with fwens. I feel myself bothering her. Always making her worried. Useless, helpless, troublesome and stupid. I cant do anything. I can't even go to work. I'm good for nth. I onli noe how to stay home and com my time off. Y cant i be like other kid? y am i so stupid to cause myself to land in these illnesses? I'm diff from her. She's mature, I'm childish. She noe how to tink and i dun. So wad if i cry now. Nth change bac. I cant do anything but onli cry.

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Friday, November 12, 2010.
Cried for days. Really dono wad happen. illnesses like fk. Wad can i help. Nth. To my love one: i dun blame u for angry at me. All is my fault, Not tat i dun wanna tell u. Juz dun wan u to worry tats all. Im sry for wad i've done tat make u angry. although im now cryin in front of the com and typing. I do still love u. Im sry.